The Low cost airline

Hurry Maadu is an over achieving CEO who wants to reach Mumbai for a business meeting.

The check in person sits at the check in counter of “Butterfly” airlines at Bangalore airport. He is frustrated with passengers perennially complaining about delayed flights.

Hurry Maadu: (Comes in panting) Hi. I am sorry I am late. Here are my tickets.

Check in person: Good evening Sir. We regret to inform you that the flight A420 to Mumbai is an hour late.

Hurry Maadu: What? An hour late? I have to be in Mumbai for a meeting. (Frustrated) Have you guys ever taken off on time?

Check in person: Actually sir, we have data to prove that 98.2% of our flights are on time. I guess you always travel in the other 1.8% flights which are never on time. If you are so hassled, you should review the low cost airline travel policy of your company.

Hurry Maadu: Now, what kind of an airline do you people run here? Flights are not on time. And no courtesy whatsoever! On top of that you are giving me statistics? Let me tell you my friend, I make a living out of tweaking data so that it looks favorable and on most occasions, encouraging. So, instead of hiding the real data in fine print, you should try and change your company’s culture and value system. I think you need a CEO like me.

Check in person: Sure sir. And you need an executive like me. Let us switch roles and I am sure both companies will go bankrupt. By the way, how do you spell your name?

Hurry Maadu: Yes, I think you should just get on with your menial job. Write down. Hurry Madu. “H” for…

Check in person: Hazardous…

Hurry Maadu: Excuse me?…

Check in person: Hazardous…Are you carrying anything hazardous?

Hurry Maadu: I thought we were spelling out my name.

Check in person: Well, I suddenly recalled seeing your name in the papers. Weren’t you awarded the best Indian CEO for the year 2006?

Hurry Maadu: Well. Hmmm…

Check in person: Oh I remember now! It was the harassment case. So, how is your “colleague” doing now?

Hurry Maadu: He is fine…I mean, she…I mean, there was no harassment, so everything is ok. Can you give me my boarding pass please?

Check in person: Sure sir. Would you prefer a window, isle…or the cockpit seat?

Hurry Maadu: Cockpit seat? Now what in Kotler’s name is that?

Check in person: Sir, aren’t you accustomed to always be in “the lead”, “the chair” or “the hot seat” as one would call it?

Hurry Maadu: Well yes, but I am not trained to be a pilot for God’s sake. I am a CEO…

Check in person: How is it different?...

Hurry Maadu: Of course it is. I review company financials, take instant decisions, communicate it to the employees and make profits for my company…

Check in person: Even our pilot looks at numbers on the panel to navigate the plane, makes decisions to turn the joystick without ever consulting the passengers. Occasionally, he makes announcements about weather & altitude and finally puts the plane on auto pilot & presses the eject button when the plane is about to crash. Doesn’t all that sound familiar to you?

Hurry Maadu: Well, you can’t compare apples and oranges! Give me a window seat please.

Check in person: Here you go sir. (Hands over the boarding pass). Do you have any check in baggage?

Hurry Maadu: No, I just have my laptop with me. I hope I can take it as hand baggage.

Check in person: Sure sir. We’ll just have to check your hard disk space. A maximum of 10 GB of data is allowed on board.

Hurry Maadu: What? I have never heard of such a thing…

Check in person: We use ATRs on the Bangalore-Mumbai route, sir. They have limited capacity you see…

Hurry Maadu: So you want me to delete critical files so that I can board your stupid ATR? (Frustrated) You know what? I’ll check it in as cabin baggage. I don’t need to work on it anyways.

Check in person: As you wish sir! Would you like the “General” or “Secure” check-in of your laptop?

Hurry Maadu: I didn’t get you…

Check in person: The baggage in “General” check-in is sent by Indian Speed post and will reach you by day after tomorrow. Secure check-in would ensure you receive your laptop when you alight from the plane in Mumbai.

Hurry Maadu: You must be kidding me! What do you think I would want?

Check in person: I guess you would go for the “Secure” check-in considering the confidential & critical nature of your data…

Hurry Maadu: That wasn’t such a difficult choice, now…was it?

Check in person: Fine Sir. Here you go. Your laptop has been checked in. Will you prefer to pay by cash or card?

Hurry Maadu: Excuse me…

Check in person: Cash or credit card, Sir? From my experience you will bill it on your corporate card…

Hurry Maadu: Pay for what?...

Check in person: The Secure Check-in Sir. And since your company is our loyal customer, you get a 10% discount and 25% cash back offer in case your laptop is damaged…

Hurry Maadu: What the hell? Isn’t this paid for in the ticket? And what is your secure check-in if you can’t guarantee undamaged delivery?

Check in person: The ticket only covers the seat charges, sir. You could pay extra if you desire more leg space, increased angle of seat recline, emergency oxygen masks, water, snacks or prettier air hostesses (wink)…hope you are getting the picture sir?

Hurry Maadu: Well yes. I am indeed getting the picture. (Picks up mobile phone…Calls his secretary and asks her to book the most expensive ticket on another airline)
My dear friend, I want to get this ticket cancelled.

Check in person: I am sorry sir. We have a no cancellation policy. You could consider using this ticket to fly some other time.

Hurry Maadu: You know what. Keep your ticket, Cockpit seat and your secure check-in with you. Good bye and God Bless!

Check in person: Thank you for choosing to fly “Butterfly airlines”. We hope to serve you again soon. (To Himself) Thank God for cost cutting companies. (Wink)