Indian Idle

(Music plays…)

Host: Hello everyone and welcome to the Bangalore auditions of Indian Idle. Our idle judges have been in the building for almost 5 hours now, as they have no work themselves. We will be starting the show in just a moment. But first, let us ask some participants what they feel about the show. (Host goes to one of the participants…) Hi, what is your name?

Participant: I am Velankani, but my friends call me Vela. I will definitely become the first Indian idle. My papa has always told me that I am good for nothing...

Host: Sure…your dad must be so proud right now. (Goes to another participant) So, what makes you think you will become Indian Idle?…

Participant: Actually sir, I have read and memorized Kabhijeet Saawant’s book “How to become Idle in 10 days”. What more proof do you want that I am completely idle in life?...

Host: (Towards the camera) A truly strong contender here friends…Let us move on… (Moves to another participant)…So, what will you do with all the money if you become Indian Idle?...

Participant: (Very serious tone…almost about to cry) Sir, our village has been neglected by the Government for such a long time. There is no place in the village where all the idle people can spend their time. So, with the money I will build a huge community hall with no ceiling, where everyone, who has no work, can dream or simply stare into space to pass time.

Host: (Towards the camera) Now, that is what I call a true Idle. We will be right back to Indian Idle auditions after this long break…Please go somewhere else and do some work, you idle people…

(Music plays…)

Commercial: (Tele-products)
Peter: Hello Mike.

Mike: Hello Peter. How are you?

Peter: As busy as ever. It was so difficult to take time out for this show.

Mike: I completely understand Peter. Even I was like you just a month back. But that was
before I was introduced to Idle-man 5.0…

Peter: Idle-man 5.0?...

Mike: Yes Peter, Idle-man 5.0. Haven’t you always wanted to sit in that couch and do nothing at all?...

Peter: Yes absolutely…
Mike: Do you feel left out when people around you discuss and dissect all TV programs?

Peter: Always…

Mike: Well, what does that tell you?

Peter: I am too busy?...

Mike: Yes…you don’t spend enough time being idle…Idle-man 5.0 is a revolutionary product which will change your life. You know why it is named 5.0? (Peter responds negatively). We guarantee that your life will switch from 5th gear to a halt in one month…Isn’t it exciting? Let us listen to some people who have used this product…

Person: I am Adam Eve. I used to be the CFO of Micro-hard…always in office or on the phone or with the laptop. I had no time for my family or myself. About 2 months back someone told me about Idle-man 5.0. Initially, I did not have the time to even think about it. Last Christmas, I received Idle-man as a gift from a person, who I considered to my worst enemy. I started using the product and in a week my life started changing. I was fired from my job. In another week the bank took away everything I owned except for the TV and the couch. And just days later my wife and kids left me. Now I have all the time in the world to be with myself, my TV and my couch. Life has never been better.

Announcer: Are you tired of working? Do you want to vile away all your time doing nothing? Do you always dream of being idle for as long as you live? If yes, then bring home the Idle-man 5.0 today. Just 10 minutes everyday on the Idle-man will make you good for nothing. If you order right now, you will be charged 100$ extra because you are making this decision too fast. Idle people would ponder for days to make this decision. This is not all. We are giving away a 29” TV and a leather couch for free. Start being idle today with the Idle-man 5.0…Take your own sweet time in ordering…

(Indian Idle music plays…)

Host: Welcome back to Indian Idle. Alas, this break was too long a time for all the idles and the judges to sit and actually think about doing something. All of them have gone home and I am headed the same way. Good bye and good night.