The 'Dil-Bill' Connection

I felt my phone vibrate in my trouser pocket. The buzz was short and to the point, very much like the headline I was trying to put on my power-point slide. It was my cell phone bill alert from BSNL and read something like: “Dear subscriber, your CellOne bill for the month of June 2008 has been dispatched. Please pay an amount of Rs. 429 by July 18th. Please contact customer care if you have any queries’.

Before I venture forward with the main agenda of this blog, I would just like to clarify my point of view on something that would/should have raised your eyebrow. Yes! I have a BSNL connection indeed! It was a decision made in full consciousness about 2 years back. I was trying to cut down on my cell phone bill and BSNL’s plan seemed to be the most cost effective at that time. Now, for the lack of a better explanation, I attribute my BSNL relationship to patriotism and using things which have “Indian” imprinted in their DNA. And I will stick to that explanation till I manage to move my lazy ass to a store, get a new network connection & go through the trouble of making everyone aware of my new number. That’s not happening anytime soon for sure!

Let's get back to the SMS now. At 3 in the afternoon and with a lot of work on your plate, it doesn’t feel bad to see such a small amount under the ‘outgoing’ item of your monthly budget spreadsheet. But when I got home that evening and started thinking, I realized how one's cell phone bill can paint a clear picture of the phase in his/her life.

When I moved into Bangalore about three years back, I had a girlfriend. My cell phone bill at that time hovered in the range of Rs. 1800 to Rs. 2500, depending on number of a) no-speaking days because of fights, b) hours of romantic talk, c) sleepless nights, d) time spent at work, e)travel on work (and thereby roaming costs) and so on.

Then came the ‘back to being single’ phase, where I called up all those friends of mine who I had lost touch with in my ‘committed’ phase. The bills were not record breaking at this time. I shelled out a constant Rs.1000 to Rs. 1400, and was happy to realize that friends are there for you, no matter what.

A year down the line, this myth was also broken. The fact that my friends were able to spare time for me was because even they were single and did not have anything better to do. And when they started getting married, my bills started crashing down like the stock market.

The final nail in the coffin was when I joined my new job. I am working 12-14 hours a day, coming home only for eating, sleeping and hygiene maintenance. Weekends are spent over a game of cricket or under the blanket. This lifestyle does justify the Rs. 429 bill. But what makes it even more interesting is that I have a Rs. 275 rental plan. So, in essence I used my phone for only Rs. 154 in the whole month of June 2008. What is even more worrying is that a large component of these 154 bucks is the call I make every evening to check out the dinner menu and informing folks when I am coming home from work.

So, the next time you meet someone and are confused about how to check their relationship status…well…you now know what question to ask…

”Hey buddy! So what was your cell phone bill last month?”.