The cab ride

Employees are waiting for the cab at the night drop. A Qualis pulls in. The driver (Gopinath) gets out and takes the roster list from the security people. All 8 employees get in. Driver gets in and starts the cab.

Driver: Hello and welcome to Gopinath Roadways. It is a pleasure for us to have all of you on board.

Employee 1: Arey lets go bhaiyya. It is already 12:30. By the time we reach home I’ll lose all sleep.

Driver: I would now request all passengers to listen to the safety instructions of this Gopinath qualis # KA03 4562.

Gopinath turns around, kneels down on the driver seat, facing the employees.

Driver: This is a seatbelt. To fasten, pull the seat belt across and clip it into the buckle on the side of the seat. To unfasten, just push the buckle and loosen the belt. The seat belt must be fastened before the security check at the departure gate. For your own safety please keep the safety belt fastened at all times during this trip, especially on Hosur Road.

Employee 2: Fine. We have fastened our seat belt. Now let us go.

Driver: This cab has 4 exits - one in the back, two in the middle row and one in the front (Shows the exits in typical airline fashion). In case of an emergency, please alight the cab using the nearest exit. Please take a moment to locate your nearest exit.

All employees stare in amazement. The employee in the leftmost seat in the middle row is about to fall asleep. Gopinath shakes him up and asks him to locate the nearest exit.

Driver: If you feel that you are too weak or too sleepy to operate the exit door then please exchange your seat with someone stronger or sober.

The leftmost guy starts falling asleep again. Gopinath shakes him up again and asks him to exchange his seat with the middle guy. Reluctantly they exchange their seats. By this time all the cabs behind have started honking.

Driver: This is a non-smoking cab. Karnataka State Transport rules prohibit any passenger from smoking while in the cab. Thank you for choosing Gopinath roadways. We wish you a happy and safe journey.

The cab starts moving. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief. Suddenly on Hosur Road the silence is broken with the driver’s announcement.

Driver: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. This is your captain Gopinath speaking. The outside temperature is a moderate 25 degrees Celcius with humidity of 50% and clear visibility. We are cruising at a speed of 70 kmph and should reach our destination in 20 minutes. Please relax and enjoy this ride. Our staff will now serve snacks and refreshments.

The driver turns on the FM. A female employee cannot resist letting out a chuckle. Her chuckle is curbed by the sudden left turn and stop. The cab stops in front of an Udupi restaurant. No one gets down.

Employee 3: Bhaiyya. Why have we stopped here? No one has to get down at Bommanhalli.

Driver: Ladies and Gentlemen, please look at the menu and place your order. Our cabin crew will get you your choice in just a moment.

Employee 3: My room mate has cooked at home. She will kill me if I don’t eat there.

Driver: Madam, the later you place the order, the more time we will take to reach the destination.

Everyone has no choice but to place the order. They wait for 15 minutes for the order to arrive. Everyone starts eating. The cab moves again. Everyone starts enjoying their respective meals.

Driver: Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking again. We might now experience slight turbulence due to road conditions. I advice you to kindly place your food tray down and fasten your seat belt again.

The sleepy guy in the center is too hungry now to let go of the food. The vibrations in the cab cause the food to spill on his neighboring employee. The “food spilt on” employee gets totally irritated and asks the driver to stop the cab.

Driver: Everyone, please prepare yourself for an emergency stop. Kindly fasten your seatbelt and lean forward so that your head rests on the front seat.

The cab swirls left and right and comes to a halt. There is silence for a few seconds.

Driver: Ladies and gentlemen, it is now safe to alight from this cab. Please open the emergency exits and alight in an orderly fashion.

The employees get out and clean themselves up. They are about to board the cab again when the driver starts speaking again.

Driver: Ladies and gentlemen, the next cab from Gopinath roadways is set to depart at 02:00 hours. Kindly wait at the terminal and proceed to security check when departure is announced.

Everyone is astonished and disgusted at the same time. All of them decide to take an auto rickshaw and go home. As they climb into the auto, the driver speaks again.

Driver: Thank you for riding Gopinath roadways. We wish you a happy stay or a safe onward journey. We hope that you will give us a chance to serve you again. Goodbye and goodnight