The real estate broker

(The door of an apartment opens…A man, his wife and a real estate broker walk in)

Wife: (To husband) Ah! Now, this is nice. Finally we get to see a good apartment.

Broker: See, I told you sir that madam will like this one. Anyone would fall in love with this apartment.

Man: Yes, it does look good…

Broker: Sir you have not seen anything yet. Let us go inside.

(All three of them move into the first bedroom)

Broker: Sir, this is the kid’s bedroom…

Wife: (To husband) This is quite spacious. Till the time we have kids, we can use this as the study…

Broker: Tut tut tut. Oh that’s so sad. Such a nice room will be full of books? You know what? You are in luck. (Shouts) Sunny!!! Radha!!! (Two kids come running in) Here you go. These are my kids. They can stay here till you decide to have kids of your own…

Man: Hahaha. You are indeed a good salesman. You know how to make your customer laugh…

Broker: (With a serious tone) I am serious sir. These children are no trouble at all and they come free of cost with this apartment.

Wife: You are joking right…

Broker: No madam. Mr. Gupta, from downstairs, had taken a similar deal last year. Now they have their own kids and so Sunny and Radha have to move out. Look at it this way. You will get good parental practice before your own kids arrive…

Wife: But why aren’t your kids staying with you?...

Broker: To cut a long story short…there is no reason…

Wife: What do you mean “there is no reason”?...

Broker: I mean, we just didn’t click…

Wife: Didn’t click? They are your kids for god’s sake, not your wife or girlfriend…

Broker: If you don’t want to keep the kids, just say so. Let me show you the rest of the flat…

Man: Yes, that would be much better. I hope your wife doesn’t come free with the guest room…

Broker: Of course not. She comes with the Master bedroom and for 10% of the house cost…

Wife: How cheap can you be?...

Broker: Well, our real estate agency does not promise the cheapest services in Bangalore for no reason…
Man: Can you please just show us the house? If we didn’t like the apartment so much, we would have been out of here by now…

Broker: Sure sir. Right this way please. This is the master bed room. And as with the rest of the house, it is also fitted with the latest model of closed circuit cameras. The security downstairs can always keep a watch on what is happening in all the rooms. So secure, I tell you…

Wife: Have you ever heard of something called Privacy?

Broker: Oh sure madam. We can take care of that. I will ask the electrician to take the cameras out of the common bathroom…

Man: (With sarcasm) That’s so considerate of you. Any other “special benefits” which you want to share with us?

Broker: Of course sir. There are so many advantages for buying this house. There are no monthly maintenance charges in this society…

Man: (With sarcasm) You mean it is included in the total cost?...

Broker: No sir. No maintenance payments at all. We believe in “Self service”…

Man: What do you mean?...

Broker: Simple. You will have to be the security guard for any one day of the week and madam needs to sweep and clean all 10 floors of the apartment once a week. Wouldn’t you feel patriotic after contributing to the society this way?

Wife: (With sarcasm) Sure, I would. And we will also stay healthy…

Broker: Madam is really intelligent. And I am sure she will agree to the society’s 9 pm deadline to reach home every day or stay wherever you are overnight. They hate western culture seeping into our lives.

Man: But…

Broker: I know what you are thinking. Rules need to be consistent. And the society has made sure they are. Formal clothes are compulsory to use the gym and swimming pool. If you use Khadi, all the more better...So can we make the deal?...

Man: Thanks but no thanks…

(Man and wife start walking out)

Broker: Sir, you will not find a better apartment. So much freedom at such a low cost. Madam?...